


Too Late

by terminallyChaotic



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: F/M, Having To Be Best Man At The Wedding Of The Guy You're In Love With, Hurt No Comfort, Jealousy, M/M, Multi, Noya is So Sad, One-Sided Attraction, Unrequited Love, Yearning, being in love with your best friend
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-24
Updated: 2021-01-23
Packaged: 2021-03-16 06:55:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,651
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28952298
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/terminallyChaotic/pseuds/terminallyChaotic
Summary: Nishinoya Yuu has been in love with Tanaka Ryuunosuke for has long as he can remember. And he's never had the courage to admit to it.
Relationships: Nishinoya Yuu/Tanaka Ryuunosuke, Shimizu Kiyoko/Tanaka Ryuunosuke
Comments: 4
Kudos: 9





	Too Late

**Author's Note:**

> The world simply does not appreciate Tananoya. So what if I'm writing sad Tananoya? The point is they're already best friends so give me dumb best friends in LOVE. 
> 
> also noya pukes in this chapter, it's not described in detail but. You know.

It doesn't stop. 

The bittersweet pang in Yuu's chest every time he sees Ryuu, painfully gorgeous with his tan skin and stupid buzzcut and muscles- the churn in his stomach when they speak for the first time in a while, that takes it's time to fade away until he's used to going back to the way it is. High School best friends who still act as close and dumb as ever, even now that they're adults with separate lives that don't intersect _nearly_ as often as they used to. Friends for maybe a decade now, of which the majority has spent with one of the pair yearning. Wishing so desperately for something more that could never be. 

Yuu used to be a coward- afraid of everything, terrified that the world was against him, that something ultimately harmless would end up hurting him irreversibly. That was something that he'd worked on changing for so long that he could hardly remember what it felt like, to be so full of fear. Until he thinks of confessing to Ryuu, that is. The idea of standing in front of his best friend and saying 'I've been in love with you for as long as I can remember' was terrifying. The best-case scenario he could think of was a rejection that they talk over and it's only awkward for a little bit. Though he yearned, with such intensity it made him nauseous sometimes, he yearned for being able to just go up to Ryuu and kiss him, and have it reciprocated, and hear those words returned to him. What he would give for a world where he wasn't too afraid, for too long. What he would give for a world where Ryuu wasn't already in love with somebody else.

He's sitting across from them at a bar, the cracks in his heart expanding just a little bit more with all the times his eyes will stray from Ryuu's face to his arm, slung around Kiyoko's shoulders like it's always meant to have been there, wishing that could be him, when they break the news.

"We're getting married." Ryuu states, trying to slip it in like it's just an average part of everyday life, but the grin that overtakes his face almost immediately after betrays him. He's excited. 

Yuu takes the collective moment of silence, the congratulations that go around the table, to process. He's pretty sure the near shattering of his gay little heart was audible to all those around him, because Ryuu looks over at him with that face that asks if he's okay- he's been too quiet for too long.

"Married? You? I didn't think it was possible... you really are growin' up!" Yuu forces a grin, leans over the table- or rather, almost crawls onto the table,- to pinch Ryuu's cheek. And some deep part of him hurts, more than it's happy, that Ryuu drops it so easily. That he goes along with it having just been a bit.

"Ah, shut up, you're just mad that I got Kiyoko." Ryuu shoots back, and Yuu has to hold back a bitter laugh because, actually, he's upset that Kiyoko got Ryuu. But he pushes it back, kicks the act from high school up to an eleven, and turns to Kiyoko.

"Kiyoko-san, run away with me. I'll treat you better than baldie over here ever could. We could live on the road with a dog and explore beautiful places together, and never worry about stinkers like _him_ ever again." He tries to paint the picture of himself and Kiyoko, doing the things he'd dreamed about doing with Ryuu. 

She lets out a laugh, and Ryuu looks at her like she's a masterpiece painted just for him- like he's memorizing her laugh to hold it close forever. He's in love. Yuu's heart cracks once more.

"The bride running away with the best man would be a good story, but unfortunately, my heart belongs to Ryuunosuke." Unfortunate is right. 

Wait-

"Best man?!" Yuu snaps his gaze back to Ryuu, jumping to his feet as he shouts. "And your wife says it before you even ask me?!"

Ryuu puts his hands up in attempt to calm Yuu, exaggerating his fear towards the explosion that is Nishinoya Yuu, who stands with wide eyes.

"Dude! You're my best friend, _of course_ you're my best man. Unless you don't wanna be?" 

He doesn't.

"Of course I do!"

He doesn't want to see them get married.

"This means I get to be in charge of the bachelor party, right? It's gonna be _so_ sick."

Doesn't want to have to make a speech about how good they are together.

"Does it have to be local? 'Cause I know some really cool places not _too_ far out."

Doesn't want to see everybody else genuinely happy for them while he's stuck feeling like a black hole who just wants more and more for Ryuu, wants to eat away all the happiness around him,

"And what about strippers? This is gonna be Ryuu's last adventure as a legally single man! I wanna make it the best-"

Doesn't want to feel like he's losing Ryuu more than he already has when, chances are, things probably won't even change that much but- 

"But I get it if not, I mean, he already has a total babe on his arm. To which I once again say, Kiyoko-san, run away with _me,_ you're making a mistake."

It feels like this is an approaching mark of finality. 

And Yuu so desperately wants to put a stop to this. To object. To just tell Ryuu how he feels right now and hope that somehow, _somehow,_ Ryuu would feel the same. Would cancel the wedding, leave Kiyoko, run away with Yuu. And they could spend the rest of their lives being free, loving each other, doing whatever makes them happy. They could sit under the stars together, close together in the way they used to be so mindlessly in high school, reminiscing about how they got there. Making jokes, and realizing they were both so dense, so they'd tell each other 'I love you' back and forth, reciting crappy pickup lines all the while. And Yuu would say 'I'm _in love_ with you.' when Ryuu says a particularly dumb one and laughs just a little too much. And Ryuu would kiss him breathless, and they'd just relish in each other's embrace and know that everything was going to be alright. That neither of them would have to hurt like they used to ever again.

He's snapped out of his fantasy when he sees Ryuu laugh at something _Kiyoko_ said, and go in to kiss _Kiyoko._

He wants to be happy for them. He _likes_ Kiyoko. But he's in love with Ryuu. And for the past decade, and probably for the rest of his life, it will be a core part of his being.

He ends up drinking until all he can feel is blind giddiness at the idea of partying with his best friend, ends up saying something about how 'if you think this is bad, wait till we hit Ryuu's party!', dropping the bachelor for the sake of his emotions. Spews out half-formed ideas and jumps from conversation to conversation whenever he hears something interesting. 

Kiyoko ends up calling him an Uber, and he feels guilty for every instance of bitter jealousy towards her he's ever felt, tearing up in gratitude and telling her that she's such a kind and amazing person who deserves better. He means better than the shameful emotions he harbours towards her fiance, but the jokes he's been making all night have her brushing it off as another one with ease, casually adding to the ever-growing web of cracks in his heart with a comment about how 'Ryuu is already the best for me, but thank you, Nishinoya.' He feels worse for feeling bad in the first place. He's upset that she calls him Ryuu. He cries in the uber.

He throws up outside, as soon as he steps out of the Uber. Apologizes for splash damage to the car, even if his pants absorbed most of it, and stumbles into his family home with all the grace of a drunken, emotionally exhausted elephant. 

He shucks his pants in the bathroom, leaving them in a pile as he crumples in front of his toilet and heaves. He remembers years back, when he and Ryuu would get drunk, and one of them would be heaving into the toilet at some point in the next 24 hours while the other sat with them. He imagines Ryuu, sat next to him, rubbing his back, going off about nothing to fill the void of silence between bouts of nausea. Pulling Yuu's hair back. Bringing him water and promising him greasy fast food as soon as he could stomach it. Things about Ryuu wiping his face clean, carrying him to lay back down, promising that if he got more rest they could Uber Eats something as soon as Yuu woke up.

He stays at that toilet until he has nothing left to throw up and he's risking falling asleep at the bowl.

When he crawls into bed, free of clothes that reek of alcohol, mouth a gross mix of minty mouthwash and the distant memory of stomach acids, he lets himself indulge in bittersweet fantasies. Dreams of Ryuu saying 'I love you, Yuu.' Of Ryuu caressing his cheeks and pushing his hair out of his face and kissing his forehead. He falls asleep imagining Ryuu's arms wrapped around him, holding him close, the two of them falling asleep on top of each other like they used to do in high school. He falls asleep feeling, just for those moments where he lets himself truly believe it could be real one day, the cracks in his heart mend themselves up. Ready to be broken again.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first venture into Haikyuu pwease be nice im baby


End file.
